By Harpie Dahl, special guest columnist
Each December when I'm taking a drive through the white and pristine, theme-named subdivisions of American Suburbia, I'm like, OMG. I just want to S C R E A M at all the misguided folks who are unwittingly promoting that patron saint of the Marxist/Darwinist secular entitlement agenda.
Who is that, you may ask? Satan Claws -- (oops, @# spell check!) I mean "Santa Claus!
Sooooo many Americans have bought into this fable that the beloved, chubby white-bearded fellow in the red suit "evolved" from the legend of St. Nicholas. But guess what! ...If you do a GOOGLE search? You'll see that the ORIGINAL portrayals of St. Nicholas generally show him to be a rather thin man with a short beard and bishop’s outfit.
Now, the reason this patron saint became associated with the Yuletide holidays was due to a coincidence of timing: both the Feast of St. Nicholas and the Yuletide celebration took place in December. The practice of gift-giving seemed to originate from the historical St. Nicholas’ charitable deeds. So this all kinda got mixed together after awhile.
As the holiday started going viral in central Europe, it incorporated the lore of St. Nicholas as a mythical gift-giving figure who rewarded good children with money, candy and other gifts. However - and it's important to note! - only the good, obedient children were rewarded.
The disobedient children, on the other hand, got a visit from the demonic-looking Krampus, who gave them coal or other unpleasant items.
The disobedient children, on the other hand, got a visit from the demonic-looking Krampus, who gave them coal or other unpleasant items.
This Christmas tradition persisted for several centuries, and postcard images of St. Nicholas and Krampus persisted into the late 19th century.
By then the tides of history were changing. In the mid-19th century, Charles Darwin and Karl Marx published screeds that would become the basis for modern liberalism. St. Nicholas and Krampus were phased out and replaced with a new mythical figure. Gone was the bishop's outfit or any reminder of Christianity. Instead, he wore a secular all-RED suit and sported a full, bushy beard -- just like a couple very notorious figures who were doing their best to corrupt Western culture!
And instead of being referred to as "Saint", this new icon's name was "Santa". If we re-arrange the letters of "Santa", what do we get? OMG! So obvious!
Other elements of the Santa Claus myth also allude to Communism, such as the happy elf workers; the “elf on a shelf” (symbolizing government surveillance) and the sleigh and reindeer — which represent Mother Russia (the real St. Nicholas rode a horse).